In just one day. That’s twenty-four hours, 1,440 minutes, 86,400 seconds. That’s what’s left of the three years I had with my two oldest in my classroom here at Built on the Rock.
I’m gonna just throw this out there and say that I’m not handling it all that well. Three years. Some days it seemed to stretch on forever. Some days I hated it and wanted to quit. Some. Few. Most days it was good and right. Many days it was magnificent, a well-timed and perfectly choreographed dance.
Any and all posts where moms are jumping up and down shouting for joy that school has begun, make me want to throw things. I get the sentiment behind it. I know at one time I used to think that way too. Now though, having seen and experienced the joy of home education, I no longer remember what it was like to wish for summer’s end.
There is something that feels very wrong about asking someone else to educate my child.
There is something very wrong about saying good-bye to them at 8:00 in the morning and then not seeing them again until…on some days, almost 6:00.
This is what we wanted, but now that it’s a mere twenty-four hours away, I have doubts.
I’m putting my children into a classroom setting where I don’t know their classmates or their classmates’ families. While I am confident that their teachers and curriculum will be rooted in Christ and his saving love and grace, it’s not me at the wheel. I learned so much about my children having them at home with me full time. I’m a little afraid that one day soon, I’ll turn around and I will have forgotten the details of their make-up that is still forming them into the unique creations they are. How am I possibly going to remember them in just three hours a day?
Don’t tell them. They are beyond thrilled. They are confident and ready. Oldest Daughter cannot wait for the next 1,440 minutes to pass.
And I will survive, and teach everything I know to the third grader still on my roll.
My bigs are going to be wonderful additions to their classrooms and their school community. I’m just going to miss them.
But not for another 86,400 seconds.